holding tight

it's no secret that i've been struggling a lot lately and feeling sorry for myself. i wish my life were different. and yet, today we'll go to the funeral for a 10 year old boy who died of cancer and this puts everything into perspective.
jake's brother is a classmate of evan's. his uncle is a former neighbor of ours. and his family goes to our church. we've been praying for healing for jake for a while now and God's answer was to give him eternal healing and take him home.
its heartbreaking. and faith-shaking too. ed & i were both angry when we heard the news that jake had passed. what kind of God allows the death of a sweet, beloved boy? we don't know why God allowed it but we know that we can still trust the Lord. after all, our life is testimony to the fact that God can allow bad things but He is still here. and He won't desert us. i don't know what He has planned for jake's family, but i pray for peace and comfort for them. and i pray for God's glory to be seen in this story.
and in the meantime, i hold rachel a little longer and a little tighter. i try to loosen up with the boys' school stuff and remember to enjoy them while we have them at home. and i thank God that despite all the stuff we've dealt with lately, we are healthy. what a blessing.