sad occasion, but great to be together!

Granddad's Legacy

this is what i shared at Granddad's funeral... (sorry, it's long... but nowhere near enough!)

In recent years, Granddad expressed concern about not having a “legacy” to leave behind. I know he was uneasy about not having riches to leave behind for his family. It wasn’t that he wanted riches himself, but that he wanted to provide for our every need. Granddad was also discouraged at not having made his mark on the world with his arts… he was never published or sold any of his paintings (to my knowledge). These thoughts were puzzling to me because that wasn’t really the man I’ve always known. Granddad wasn’t concerned with wealth or fame. He always knew that the things of this world were temporary and he was sure of his eternal reward, which had nothing to do with any of his accomplishments. But, despite this, he still struggled over this lacking legacy. When he became sick, I tried to reassure him with this truth: “Granddad, you’ve given us a very rich legacy… we’ve already inherited your legacy!!”

I speak for my siblings and myself (his grandchildren) when I say we were so blessed to have been loved by Granddad and have him as a constant in our lives. We have been shaped and formed by that great man and we are better people because of his influence in our lives!

We dress better because he was a very sharp dresser (who else could pull off wearing his leather jacket and cap?!) – he was particularly concerned with dressing appropriately for the occasion. On Christmas morning, when we were sitting around in pajamas and robes, Granddad would show up in slacks, shirt and sweater AND his bathrobe! And to this day, I cannot wear jeans inside a church sanctuary because Granddad wouldn’t have dared to come into the Lord’s house in anything but his finest!

We speak and write better because of his constant tutelage. Granddad had such a wonderful understanding of the English language and had a passion for grammar and writing that he passed onto his grandchildren. Throughout all the years of our schooling (and well past those years too), we were always welcomed to bring our writings to Granddad for his wise instruction. He loved writing and loved for us to write too.

We behave better because of his impeccable manners. Granddad really was the epitome of a proper gentleman. “Gentleman” is defined as: civilized, educated, sensitive and well mannered. Granddad exceeds the definition. And Granddad was a GENTLE MAN, who lovingly cared for those around him and spoke so gently with his sweet voice.

Finally, we understand God better because of Granddad. Granddad didn’t just teach the scriptures in Sunday School but he taught them consistently, even in casual conversation. Granddad showed us examples of grace and mercy. He was patient, gentle and always had time for us and wanted to talk with us. Granddad taught us that “no one is good, but God” (usually the response if you were foolish enough to answer his “how are you?” with “good”!). By his honest confessions, we better understand that “ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. And by his joyful expressions of being saved by Jesus Christ, we better understand our need for Jesus and our promise of eternal life in Heaven because of His sacrifice.

Granddad was such a special man. I know that everyone has their own stories about Granddad and how he influenced lives. Our experiences with him were unique, as we were his grandchildren and were fortunate to have been raised in close connection to him.

We really did have the best grandfather that ever lived. He played dolls with us, was an excellent guest at tea parties and sang as our choir when we played “church” on his steps. He climbed the 130 steps from 5th street to 6th street with us repeatedly so that we could “count the steps” every time (as though the number might change) and he would play outside with us whenever we asked. He was creative and inventive and made for us an amazing dollhouse and countless other toys.

And while he would sometimes try to influence our decisions (we will always laugh when we remember how he would tell us what we wanted or who or what we liked… “Oh, you want more of this” or “No, you like ____”!), Granddad was always supportive and encouraging of anything we did. He often showed up to cheer us on at swim meets, dance recitals, choral or band concerts, proms, graduations and every special and not-so-special event! He encouraged our hobbies, our friendships and our goals. When my Grandma was dying, she and I had been making a quilt together. Because she was too sick to do it (and I didn’t know how), he stepped in and finished the quilt himself! He was always willing to do whatever he could to help us along.

Granddad was always patient and gentle with us, even when we behaved badly. Even when he was correcting us, he did so in a way that we knew he loved us so much. I must mention that one of his favorite memories was when we girls cried out repeatedly to him to punish Bobby for messing with our toys, but when he came to spank Bobby, all four of his sisters surrounded him for protection! But we never felt anything but safe when we were with Granddad. We were so well loved by him! And we were so blessed that God gave to us – five very undeserving kids – the very best granddad that ever lived!

granddad

today my beloved granddad died... i just don't know what to say. i loved that man so much and i can't believe he's gone.

before he passed away, i just sat talking with him. i told him that i can't imagine my world without him. i talked to him about my memories of him. i talked about his other grandchildren who weren't there but were thinking of him and wishing they could be with him. i read scriptures to him and when i did, even though he was not responsive and never opened his eyes, he cried when i read 1 corinthians 13. i cried and told him that i was so glad to know that he would be in heaven... with my grandma, with his brother and sister, with his baby who died when my dad was little, with his parents, ... but most of all, he would be with Jesus.

i know that granddad was a little fearful of death a few weeks ago. i'm sure its scary to leave behind people you love and want to protect and provide for. and i know that his physical pain was great (i must get my low tolerance for pain from him) and that must have been scary too. but i love that he was reassured when daddy reminded him of his brother's (uncle walter) words before he died, "nothing in my hands i bring, simply to thy cross i cling"... this gave granddad peace. he had peace because he was certain of his salvation through Jesus and Jesus alone... and i know that he is right now with his Savior in heaven, and that gives me peace in the midst of grief and sorrow.

but i still can't believe he's gone...

we saw him on sunday. he wasn't very alert for most of our visit, but he did greet each of the boys and was glad to see them. i thank God that they knew him and were loved by him. and i thank God that i knew him and was loved so well by him.

making progress

well, as usual, my expectations just never fit my reality. first, i was certain that having a new camera would mean that i'd be all about uploading images on my blog and maybe *that* would be the motivation behind posting more updates. um, no.

however, i will add this pic of our friend, nate, who came to visit for dinner before he heads back to england (oxford) for a short time to prepare for travel to the middle east, where he'll be doing research. the boys adore nate (he was a youth leader for drew & taylor last year) and they were thrilled to have him join us for an evening. we had a fun dinner and then, of course, we played a game (chicken foot). it was just so much fun! anyway, here's a photo of nate with the guys.

after that fun on thursday, we had a really busy weekend. friday found everyone off at parties/school dance. saturday morning, ed went for an mri to see what needs to be done with his hurt shoulder (surgery, probably) and then we headed to granddad's to help them move furniture. granddad is not doing well and now needs either a hospital bed in their home (with near constant care) or will be moving to a nursing home soon. so, we did what we could to help get their home in order. several weeks ago, we all visited and granddad had each of us choose a painting of his to keep. we love the ones we received! then, on saturday, taylor was given granddad's art materials (paints, chalks, canvases, etc)... he's so excited!! (but he has to share with his brothers too.) saturday night, ed & i went to a friend's big b'day bash and the guys hung out at home (after drew went to dinner with friends at a mexican restaurant where he had to speak spanish the entire time for a school project and noah went out with his Bible study group from church for a "fun day").

sunday was the daytona 500 (the only nascar race we watch, as we try every year to watch with our friends who host a party for the event). this is always exciting because we hang out with friends and fight to win the coveted prize for guessing the outcome of the race. noah won a few years ago and drew won this year! we're such fans!! then, i gave a testimony at the youth group sunday night (taylor & noah were there to hear it). despite having worked with middle schoolers in the past, it is very different to speak at something like that with your own kids there!

finally, monday was a big work day (the boys & ed were off for presidents day and i was sick... still am). ed started working on re-wiring the second floor/stairs. so, we're back in a state of "disarray", but even though it looks like more of a mess, we've (technically, he) made progress and it is really exciting to think about what these rooms will look like in the near future... you know, with walls and stuff like that!! while ed worked on the electric, the rest of us worked on the "annual cleaning out" of the game room... it's not actually finished yet, but we've made great progress. and that room will be another that is FINISHED soon (probably this spring) so that will be great for everyone! :)

speaking in gifts?

woohoo!!! apparently my family finally tired of hearing all my whining about not having a working digital camera because that's one of the great gifts i got this year for my birthday. in fact, i need to take a moment to properly acknowledge just what my loving hubby and sons did for me this year... my birthday (yes, a few weeks ago) started with blueberry pancakes (my favorite breakfast!) served to me in bed (with pulp-free oj, of course!!). as seems to be our custom, anytime i get breakfast-in-bed, my server is taylor. so, he shows up with my breakfast (+ a plate for himself), he crawls in with me and we eat breakfast while watching an old movie on tcm. right up my alley!! then, ed & i went down to the strip and strolled/shopped a little before coming home and having a really relaxing day with the guys. later that evening, i get to open gifts from my in-laws (my m-i-l is great at sending gifts for every occasion!!) and one package from the guys. it's bath beads (a little treat that i love). honesty, i was quite pleased that they'd thought to get something i wanted and i didn't think about the fact that between 5 of them, all i got was bath beads! but, they informed me that this would be the "birthday week" and i would be showered with gifts for one week! yeah!!!!

the gifts that followed were a new corningware dish & cookie trays (i know, they don't sound exciting, but they are both things i've wanted to replace but didn't feel like i should spend the money when they weren't "necessary"), a beautiful candle, lovely "dangling" earrings, and a digital camera!! these are ALL things that i've specifically wanted and i got each and every one for my birthday week. it was such fun!!

one of my little annoyances with gifts is being given something just for the sake of giving me a gift (not thinking of what i would actually want) or worse, choosing something that the giver wants!! so, with the boys in particular, i've been trying to teach them the art of good gift-giving. at christmas, i really pushed them to think about what their dad would want and it was a new experience for them to actually do that! and i know that ed loves whatever they give him, i know he also really loved the things he was given this year!! i feel like ed did the same this time with my b'day gifts and it was really great!

you know, it's funny... some time ago, i read the "love languages" book and i've struggled to figure out what my love language really is. i know i definitely express love by acts of service... that's why i really do love to cook, keep house (not terribly well, but i do some) and care for my guys. what i didn't realize was how important gifts are to me!! to be honest, while i think it's fine for my friend, jenni, to be a "gifts" person, i felt it was inappropriate to be one myself. (sorry, jen!!) ha!! i think i am!!! just as i know is true for jenni, i don't really need expensive or extravagant gifts, but i love getting "thoughtful" gifts... something that the giver saw that reminded them of me or something that i would really love.

in addition to my awesome b'day gifts from ed and the boys, i also recently received a book by an author that i wanted to check out and an ipod (sweeter than i even imagined it would be to have one) - both of which i'm using as my incentive to go to the gym more!! - in addition to a gift card to talbots and money that i could use to take the family out to dinner (a double gift, as i don't have to cook/clean up!!). yes, believe it or not, the month of january 2008 has made me realize that i really feel loved and appreciated when i receive gifts!! don't get me wrong, i also feel well-loved with words of affirmation, signs of affection, acts of service (like ed putting up swinging doors in both doorways to the kitchen to help me keep the dogs corralled during my work day!!) and spending time with people i love. but now, i can openly say that i also love gifts!! :) truth be known, i often think of gifts that i want to give people. unfortunately, i either can't afford to follow through or i can't get my act together enough to do so. but i do think of giving gifts to show people how i feel about them! so, this isn't really a new love language after all!!

anyway, i seem to be a little camera shy as i try to figure out the camera but here are a few shots that i took of the guys who are right now fighting for world domination in the game of risk in our dining room (note the swing door - not yet painted- and the bike... does everyone else have to keep a bike in the dining room?!? guess this is the price we pay for getting one for taylor in december... he doesn't want to put it away with the other bikes because he hasn't had a chance to break it in yet. um, it's not quite bike weather right now.)

hating xbox360/microsoft

yes, this is a rant/vent/whatever post... i've just spent hours and hours (over the past few days) trying to help drew get results from the xbox360 repair center. i can't remember ever having such frustration with a company before. i am so angry that i want to rip someones hair out!
i took up calling because they kept giving drew the run around. after a number of calls and LONG waits for my calls to be answered, i finally reached a supervisor today. she (whose name was "george") was completely unhelpful as she simply repeated again and again the "policy"... that would be that they can't "advance" on an order without a tracking number for the order. um, that would have been a good thing to mention to our teenage son when he called for instructions for mailing his defective disc to them! instead, they gave him a reference number, which he dutifully marked on the disc and on the envelope before mailing to the repair center in TX. when i mentioned that drew hadn't been instructed to get a tracking number, she told me that in order for her to help me, i would have to come up with one. oh, okay, i'll just run over to my local post office and ask them to track a package we sent in october... that should be no problem, right?! i actually asked her if she'd mailed anything from a post office recently (she had), then i asked how she would go about tracking her mail after it has been sent. (shockingly, she had no response.)
anyway, she got a little frosted and said that "everyone else sends packages with tracking orders" so i replied that drew's should be easy to find - his would be the one WITHOUT a tracking number! she didn't like that. then, i asked what the policy was for handling packages that arrived without a tracking number and she told me that they can't share that information with me. so, i'm guessing that the answer is not "we process them in the order in which they arrive"... my guess is, they just toss them and assume they won't be held accountable if one can't prove they received it.
the sad thing is, after i started making these calls (foolishly assuming that there was some misunderstanding and that i could get it cleared up and get their disc returned), i started looking online and almost everywhere i went (related to xbox 360, of course), there were frustrated complaints about the repair center. okay, if we got a defective disc, isn't that their fault?! and if we followed the instructions given for returning the defective one and receiving a replacement, shouldn't that have been enough?! i know it shouldn't be a big deal to just go out and get another copy of the game for them, but now, my faith in their company is zilch. and what happens if we have another problem??? how much money should we toss away before we finally quit xbox360 altogether?! besides that, i am so angry with their "customer service" - which isn't service at all. and they certainly don't care much for their customers!! i spent hours being nice and friendly and got no where. finally, when i got good and angry, i got to speak to a supervisor and she was horribly unhelpful! oh, every time i think of her, i want to scream. at the end of our call, she told me to have a nice day... i was so mad that i actually told her that i hope her day is bad because she's effectively ruined mine. hello, am i four years old?!?!

uh oh, this reads like a Christmas letter...

wow. i am really very bad at this, aren't i?! well, i'm shocked to discover that i haven't updated on anything since mid-october. i do have an excuse for part of that time... at least twice in the last two months we've had our internet down for at least a week or two at a time. i don't quite know the problem causing it, only the frustration it causes for all of us.


ANYWAY, here's a very quick update on what's going on in our world (or the highlights, at least).

evan is in the running for the geo-bee (think spelling bee, only geography) and we're really excited about that! he's done really well in the preliminary rounds and the next test will be this thursday (dec 20th). he's also doing well with his trumpet. its a little tougher than he thought, so his little cheeks are working hard! his holiday party is this friday and as of today, it looks like i'll be the only mom available to help with the party... (uh, i only signed up for this party because other moms signed up and it looked like we'd be well-covered(!)... i really hope i don't have to come up with a craft!!!) for ev's 10th b'day in november (double digits now!!), we had a little party with his friends and saw a movie. he had a great time and his friends are great little boys.

noah had a great season with the juggling club (yes, the circus is his back-up career plan if he doesn't become a doctor) and also got to play a "solo note" with his bass clarinet in the 6th grade band concert. having started out the school year a little rocky, he's doing much better now. he also is very involved in a small group with a few guys from church. our new youth leader, doug, meets regularly with these 6th grade boys and they love it!

taylor had a good run with lego club for the year and went to the robotics competition earlier this month. the competition is a full day on saturday in a huge warehouse type building and you spend all day waiting to cram yourself into a crowd in order to see your kid compete for about 1 minute three times during the day (each scheduled hours apart, of course)... this year, ed didn't go in order to tear down the wall in our front hall, so i went alone for the day with taylor. i know he was glad that i was there (looking into the crowd before each event to be sure i was there) and while i enjoyed being there with him, i couldn't help thinking of my mom and all those saturdays she spent in the hot bleachers of an indoor swimming pool for our day-long meets. maybe i'm glad the boys don't swim after all?


drew is doing well too. when i went to his teacher conference, it was almost embarrassing because his teachers had nothing but high praise for him and we had no concerns either. (i only went because we don't know his teachers and i wanted to at least touch base). in recent weeks, we've taken a slight turn... while his grades are still excellent, drew is in full "teenager" mode these days and it's leaving us a little confused and frustrated. i'm sure it was inevitable - even with a "perfect child" who never seems to do wrong - that we'd deal with his being bored and uninterested in school and getting into a little trouble. he is a 14 year old boy! his teachers are concerned that he's less interested in things like history... um, yeah, he's more interested in girls, computers, and his "look"... and we've had a few run-ins with the principal over a few bad decisions on drew's part. so, he's grounded (he and i are spending a lot more time together since he can't go roaming around town with his friends... um, are we having fun yet?!) and we're working on choosing good friends and making good decisions. this is normal for teens, right? (i have a new appreciation for parents who ground kids - like mine did... often! - it's hard to hold to the punishment when your kid is SO crabby about a consequence he brought on himself!!)

anyway, i know i keep promising pictures, but i still haven't gotten around to getting my film developed. and, because we've been working on the house some more (mostly finishing projects we've been working on for some time!), it doesn't look like i'll have a digital camera under the tree. oh well. maybe next month for my b'day... (ha!) pictures will come.